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Heard any good jokes lately?

If you are not talking about firearms or weapons, do it here.

Postby Torgo » Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:08 pm

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for a while.



Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'
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Postby tigwelder56 » Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:37 pm

I do believe that these jokes need to be tamed down abit. There are women and men that don't appreciate the gross vulgarity. I think we all need to keep them PG-17 rated, okay? Thank you.
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Postby Torgo » Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:13 am

sorry tig....ill be good :(
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Postby Rescuelurch » Tue Jun 29, 2010 1:35 pm

I believe this will qualify as pg-17 material.

A 7 year old boy walks into a drug store an quietly asks the Pharmacist "I would like to buy some prophylactics" Stunned and not sure if he heard right he asks the boy to repeat himself. Again the young lad asks"I would like to buy some prophylactics, how much are they?" Stunned by the question he did the only think he thought proper and states "they are ten dollars a box". To that the boy thinks for a moment and replies, "OK I'll take a box". The pharmacist hesitantly takes a box off the shelf, puts them in a bag and rings up the purchase, then tells the little guy "OK that will be ten dollars and thirty five cents". The boy looks up at the man and says " I thought you said they were ten dollars?" The Pharmacist explains "well the ten dollars are for the product and the thirty five cents is for tax". The little boy, with a very surprised look on his face says "tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves?!
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Postby Ron40 » Tue Jun 29, 2010 3:24 pm

Hooah!
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Postby tigwelder56 » Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:22 pm

We all remember the KFC "Hillary Meal" ---two small breasts and two big thighs?



Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners. It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket......



It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes
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Postby Ron40 » Wed Jun 30, 2010 3:46 pm

Does it come in Spicy?
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Postby tigwelder56 » Wed Jun 30, 2010 10:47 pm

No matter how good she looks,



Some other guy is sick and tired



Of putting up with her shit...



*******

And for the ladies,



A Woman's Rule of Thumb:



If it has tires or testicles,



You're going to have trouble with it
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Postby tigwelder56 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 3:54 pm

Okay, this one is a challenge instead of a joke. Go here and play BALL, it can be done! This is for those days when you have nothing else to do. Have fun! (it does change color!)

http://thedogpaddler.com:80/RandomUploads/Ball/ball.htm
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Postby tigwelder56 » Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:10 pm

Scientific "Fact"!



Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?

When a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak, and he thinks irrationally?



Ever wonder why?



It's because she smells like a new truck.
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